I hit up an Al-Anon meeting last night and ironically the topic of discussion was 'blame'. Ironic because just a couple of days ago I posted about who, in my past, I blamed for my sister's battle with drugs.
I came away holding onto the reminder that in conflict sometimes no one is to blame. Sometimes the conflict is what it is and no one is right and no one is wrong, no one to blame. Just a difference of opinion. I have been too eager to take the blame for a lot of things in my life, when really there is no one to blame. This is a definite character defect of mine. It is easier to say "Oh, I'm sorry. That is my fault." just to avoid someone else feeling uncomfortable. Why can't I just let it be? For so long I had done such a good job of not doing this any more, but unfortunately, I have gotten back into this bad habit.
I love gentle reminders that kindly kick my ass, put me in my place and set me on the right track again.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
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1 comments:
Good job getting to a meeting!!
[G]entle reminders that kindly kick my ass are certainly better than the ones that brutally kick your ass!
Life is so messy and complicated already, trying to hold someone liable for every little (or big) thing that goes wrong is exhausting. But, as you say, it's so easy to just take on the blame yourself. I can totally sympathize! I also have to be careful or I do the same.
Thank you for sharing!
:)
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